By Stuart Mitchner

I love Christmas tree bulbs.

—David Lynch

You can’t fool me, there ain’t no sanity clause.

—Chico Marx

Say you’re watching the classic routine from A Night at the Opera (1935), wherein Groucho Marx and his brother Chico are going over a contract and literally ripping out every clause until they get to a single shred of paper containing the provision requiring that the signatories be in their right minds, at which Chico delivers a punch line for the ages.

The first time I laughed along with my parents at that scene I was still a secret believer in the fantasy of St. Nick driving his reindeer team across the mysterious Christmas Eve sky with a gift for every child in the universe. While it was easy enough to laugh at a childish dream and move on, I’ve never really given up on the Christmas mystery, with its tree of many colors, its Dickensian coziness, and its music, and I’m pleased that David Lynch loves Christmas tree bulbs. It makes some kind of twisted sense that the Eagle Scout of the Darkly Strange and Weirdly Wonderful has a weakness for holiday customs and American icons. He didn’t invent “damn fine coffee and cherry pie,” but fans of Twin Peaks have reason to think so since he invented Dale Cooper (Kyle McLachlan), the only FBI agent on the planet who employs Tibetan rituals in his work. Lynch is the Kilroy of American culture, he’s everywhere, giving daily YouTube weather reports in L.A., designing videos for Moby, and lending himself to a travesty of Santa in Family Guy (“How David Lynch Stole Christmas”), coming down the chimney to present a little boy with a human thumb in a box (à la the ear in Blue Velvet) while reminding him to leave a plate of black coffee under the tree next Christmas Eve. more